PITCHFORKS AND FIRE -- DRAVEN
Hello All,
I am perplexed at the response to Cody's blog which I did not read before it was posted.
I have been with Cody for 4 months since his injury and have been his main care giver to date. I am the one who started this blog, the website, the t-shirts etc.. in order to help support the Marshall family. I did what I felt needed to be done and have been here hands on since day 1.
I am in California with Cody and take care of him daily. He is going through his own process of healing and discovering his limitations, strengths and weaknesses. I would like to touch on this "surfing" issue that seems to have risen.
When he was discussing going "surfing" with his brother this weekend we of course were concerned about his safety and what precautions needed to be taken and what type of "surfing" he could do. We obviously do not want a repeat of what we have all been through and when I say all I include all of you.
Some of the responses to his recent blog post act as if I would put him in the middle of the busiest street and say good luck. Being that I am beyond aware of his ability and limitations I would not put him in a situation that would risk injury. Being as you have been following this blog from the begging I would assume you are aware he is not able to drive and he is not left alone. With everything he does it is supervised, discussed, decided, then squashed or put forth. Those decisions in most part are made by myself, his doctors and Cody's input.
If and when he is able to go "surfing" it will be in a "controlled" low key environment where the waves are minimal at best. He will not be in the ocean alone. He is NOT able to stand up on the board, he will be laying flat and he will be wearing a helmet and doing what they call "body surfing". He will not be in an ocean with 10 foot waves or even 3 foot waves, he will not be surrounded by rocks, he will not be unsupervised or in asituation where the waves can grab him away or floating out into the ocean on his own.While the risk is minimal there is risk in anything he does. This includes stepping out of the shower, going to the gym, running on treadmill, walking down stairs, balancing work, skiing on a bunny slope, etc... We are here to take the necessary precautions and make it as safe as possible.
I think I have made the right decisions so far and kept him healing, safe and on the right path to recovery. I don't think his comment about hitting his head was appropriate and I think it was his way of trying to make light of his situation and trying to feel less controlled. You can fault him for that if you would like.... I would rather choose to understand the place from which it came.
Friends and/or supporters don't just write him off either. Instead of dismissing him as "dense or selfish" you may want to try the approach of discussion. Ask questions, see what the full situation is before you throw him off the bridge. Shame on you for being so quick to dismiss him and your unwillingness to try to understand before passing judgment.
I am a little shocked that people would think I would put him in a situation that is not safe, last I checked I got him here.
As the Doctors said "Draven you are 50% of the reason he walked out of the hospital" so I hope you are damn sure to know I will be the last person to put him back. While the 4 months has been hard for him, I could write a book on what it has been for me.
I urge you to Re-wind and re-approach after all you are not questioning his judgment you are questioning mine.
I would also say to you and anyone else, if you believe in what you are saying then stand tall and true to your beliefs! Posting Anonymously leaves me to question your conviction, it shows doubt, a lack of back bone, a weakness or inability to stand up for yourself and actually engage in conversation. It is passive aggressive at best. If you feel you have the right to throw stones let me know from which house they are coming from.
For Now Until Then,
Sincerely,
Draven
I am perplexed at the response to Cody's blog which I did not read before it was posted.
I have been with Cody for 4 months since his injury and have been his main care giver to date. I am the one who started this blog, the website, the t-shirts etc.. in order to help support the Marshall family. I did what I felt needed to be done and have been here hands on since day 1.
I am in California with Cody and take care of him daily. He is going through his own process of healing and discovering his limitations, strengths and weaknesses. I would like to touch on this "surfing" issue that seems to have risen.
When he was discussing going "surfing" with his brother this weekend we of course were concerned about his safety and what precautions needed to be taken and what type of "surfing" he could do. We obviously do not want a repeat of what we have all been through and when I say all I include all of you.
Some of the responses to his recent blog post act as if I would put him in the middle of the busiest street and say good luck. Being that I am beyond aware of his ability and limitations I would not put him in a situation that would risk injury. Being as you have been following this blog from the begging I would assume you are aware he is not able to drive and he is not left alone. With everything he does it is supervised, discussed, decided, then squashed or put forth. Those decisions in most part are made by myself, his doctors and Cody's input.
If and when he is able to go "surfing" it will be in a "controlled" low key environment where the waves are minimal at best. He will not be in the ocean alone. He is NOT able to stand up on the board, he will be laying flat and he will be wearing a helmet and doing what they call "body surfing". He will not be in an ocean with 10 foot waves or even 3 foot waves, he will not be surrounded by rocks, he will not be unsupervised or in asituation where the waves can grab him away or floating out into the ocean on his own.While the risk is minimal there is risk in anything he does. This includes stepping out of the shower, going to the gym, running on treadmill, walking down stairs, balancing work, skiing on a bunny slope, etc... We are here to take the necessary precautions and make it as safe as possible.
I think I have made the right decisions so far and kept him healing, safe and on the right path to recovery. I don't think his comment about hitting his head was appropriate and I think it was his way of trying to make light of his situation and trying to feel less controlled. You can fault him for that if you would like.... I would rather choose to understand the place from which it came.
Friends and/or supporters don't just write him off either. Instead of dismissing him as "dense or selfish" you may want to try the approach of discussion. Ask questions, see what the full situation is before you throw him off the bridge. Shame on you for being so quick to dismiss him and your unwillingness to try to understand before passing judgment.
I am a little shocked that people would think I would put him in a situation that is not safe, last I checked I got him here.
As the Doctors said "Draven you are 50% of the reason he walked out of the hospital" so I hope you are damn sure to know I will be the last person to put him back. While the 4 months has been hard for him, I could write a book on what it has been for me.
I urge you to Re-wind and re-approach after all you are not questioning his judgment you are questioning mine.
I would also say to you and anyone else, if you believe in what you are saying then stand tall and true to your beliefs! Posting Anonymously leaves me to question your conviction, it shows doubt, a lack of back bone, a weakness or inability to stand up for yourself and actually engage in conversation. It is passive aggressive at best. If you feel you have the right to throw stones let me know from which house they are coming from.
For Now Until Then,
Sincerely,
Draven
I just finished a post to the previous blog. Nevermind....
I appreciate having more info. Thanks Draven. We have had such fantastially detailed updates from you and the crew all along, I admit I was taken back by Cody's post. I know I went right to full-on surfing. NO doubt in part because Cody is so excited to do it. My bad. Of course this info makes sense and looking back, I can't believe I went to the wrong place. I apologize.
You all set the bar high with respect to posting. It's so great to hear from Cody and we forget he has a different style than all of you.
Keep it up, have fun and take care of yourselves!
Hey Cody - how's your weight coming along??
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Draven,
I am with you! I have been following the blog since day one, and have been amazed at your ability to manage Cody's needs day-to-day. When I read what Cody had to say about surfing, I took it with a grain of salt, thinking sure Cody wants to do this, but we'll see. I don't really understand how people could expect or believe Cody to be solely in control of his of his life at this point. From what I have read his recovery is nothing short of miracle, but the reality is Cody is still a brain injury patient, albeit on the mend. So, when he wrote he wanted to go surfing, sure he does! But is that a reality, probably not, and we should all trust that it will not happen until you and the Dr's deem it the appropriate time. I think it is great that Cody has such a fighting spirit! It is a shame that people are so quick to judge a blog, I think if they could talk to Cody face to face they would have better understanding of him and what he was trying to say in his responses to everyone.
Keep the faith.. your are an amazing friend and you are both an inspiration to all.
J2 Ski Racing Mom,
Rachel R.
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Thanks for the Update Draven! You are amazing and so is Cody!!
God bless you both! Enjoy and keep up the great work!!
<3 Catherine
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Draven,
Although I have never commented, I have followed Cody's story from the get go. Let me say that I have worked in an ER for 10 years and have seen first hand the devastation this kind of accident causes. Sad part is for people that don't understand is they like the drama and hype, and then the honeymoon is over and people start to negate that.... that is when the support is REALLY needed. I think you are doing an absolutely kick ass job! Not alot of people that would hang in there like you have. Don't let em get u down! Try to remember: Opinions are like ass holes....everyone has one.
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Um - woops. Should have read this post before commenting on the other pages ;-]
OH well ... Keep up the fantastic recovery!!!
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I was reading the blogs I had missed in historical order so just got to this one after I commented on the last one. I saw Yvette is right one- Draven: You, Cody and the Marshalls have been fabulous and incredible. Keep it up, you continue to be an inspiration to all of us! We couldn't be more proud of you and we believe in all of you.
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cody they have some real cool boards now with sandals screwed to the board so you can fly off the lip of the wave and do all kinds of tricks. also i would get right into tow in with a jet ski, you can get in to much bigger waves like a 15to 18 footer with a nice tube.
all of you how know cody and have been on this blog from day one know that cody is in the best of hands with the help of a draven, his family, and all of us who care. jesse and darven would never let cody do anything that would be an issue to his health or recovery.
cody have fun in the sun and the warm salt water and if you get a big wave get it on video so you can sell it to all the surf mags. and make some big cash
ed
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How can you not admire someone who is so eager to get back into the life he knew just a few months ago? I sincerely believe that Cody's best interests are the foundation for all decisions made. God bless you all!
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Draven,
Right On!
It is amazing to me that some one out there actually thinks Cody is going to go surfing! I thought he was being sarcastic and thought,good for him,if he wants to go! His heart is in the right place. His recovery has been incredible, and I don't think you or Jesse,or the Marshall's would put Cody in harms way.
Good for him for wanting to move on.
All good things in good time!
Keep up the good work, all of you.
Tom
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Draven, you are a saint. Absolutely. I say that with all sincerity. That aside, I have been reading this blog from the beginning and have very mixed feelings about Cody and the "Cody Movement." There is no acknowledgement that Cody caused his injury due to recklessness. If no acknowledgement, then there is no "growth" of the really important kind. Then we have the "movement" which feels like a sham attempt to paper over the situation and make it heroic in some way. Finally, the fund raising. Gullible, caring people will give Cody money. Yet Cody is from a well to do family. We read that you are fund raising for medical bills (with no idea of the size of the bills or family finances), yet we also read Cody is gambling in Las Vegas and I am going out on a limb here assuming that his family lives a comfortable lifestyle, perhaps far more than some who have sent money. I wish that Cody's situation could be used as a life lesson to caution others. Instead he is joking in his blog about hitting his head. That reinforced the concerns I have had all along since I stumbled across this story in the news. YOU may be totally on top of tihngs, and YOU are a sensible, caring person... and YOU, frankly, are the one who has inspired the rush of support... but Cody sounds like the same reckless, thoughtless kid he was before the accident and I am not surprised that people reacted as they did.
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I just caught up on the past three posts and comments. The most recent comment really got my ire up. Cody is a young guy that has become so excellent at a pretty dangerous sport. Who of us has not done something reckless and got away with it. Who of us have done something reckless and been hurt. I for one have been here to support the healing and rebuilding of an excellent Athlete and I don't give a damn how he got into this predicament and I don't give a damn how well off his family is, if they are or not. I'm here for the Codeman and will continue my support until he gets back to the life he knew and the life he lived.
I do agree with the responder above that Draven, you are truly a Saint. I would be so fortunate to have someone like you at my side after a terrible accident and that is what it was, an accident!!! Cody, keep your personality, keep you love of life, stay courageous because courage is what has brought you back to this point in your life. Peace and Love!! Your Friend in Salt Lake City, Dave.
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You are clearly a liar! I have known the Marshall family for years and you obviously have no idea what they do or who they are. Again I will agree with Draven people who tell truths don't post anonymously. Barb Marshall is a wonderful person who works very hard to support her family as a ski coach and swim coach. Don Marshall works equally as hard as a house painter. I find your post offensive and sad. Trying to discredit the family and Cody. No one has made what has happened to him heroic. You are clearly out of touch with reality. You are an asshole. I am sick of people like you. It says nothing about gambling in Vegas it says spending the night for some fun. If he did gamble it is his choice, his life is not suppose to stop. You are dead wrong about your comments and I think you should have your head examined.
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I have no idea who you are, but if you do not know the Marshall family then I am not sure you can make assumptions like you have done. They are not from a well to do family, they are just a normal working class family like the majority of us. When Cody first was in the hospital, his parents could not stay out in UT for too long as they both had to get back to their jobs. His brother Jesse also had to get back to his job in CA. That is why family friend Draven took over, who has made investments early in life and is able to give his time because he cares. Yes, Cody is reckless, but most skiers are. And yes, Cody did cause his accident, but now he is working really hard to get back to some sort of "normal" in his life. His friends are here to support him and since you have just "stumbled across this story" I suggest you move on to something else.
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Hi Draven
you do not know me at all - I am chris beckmanns mom
you have been doing a fab job - and I can not believe anyone would have thought Cody or you would be considering 10 foot waves etc - taking charge and getting to go paddle in the waves is good for everybody -- Cody needs to keep feeling as if he is going forward -- We have all been following Codys accomplishments and your dedication --You are amazing -keep up the good work and even running your huge defense moves
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I have not posted on this before and have not read the comments made that Draven is referring to but if people don't have enough sense to know that Cody has a sense of humor and that Draven is watching out and over Cody - it is a sad day! Great comments Draven - people need to lighten up! Cody - keep up the sense of humor - I enjoy your comments from your perspective - you shouldn't have to edit what you say - Glad to know you are on the road to recovery and are enjoying your time in CA!
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Dear Cody, Draven and Marshall Family,
Thank you for your post Draven. I have been following Cody's progress since the inception of his injury and I delight in the progress made and the hurdles that he has jumped over. I for one am thrilled that he is able to venture out and have new experiences and feel alive again. After my son's TBI from his MVA I wondered many times what his capabilities would be and I also panicked when he was given the OK to try new activities. The important thing to note for everyone is that inactivity and complacency are an enemy to the recovery of these patients. They are dealing with many limitations and struggling daily to push their new limits. If Cody is not allowed to accept new challenges under supervision his spirit will be broken and that is by far a scarier scenario than the multitude of therapies and work he deals with daily. Cody I hope you have a ball and never stop trying new things and loving life. A few short months ago we didn't know if you would even walk again! This is awesome!! ENJOY!!!
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Draven,
I am so impressed by your dedication to Cody. You are probably the major reason he survived the injury. I trust your judgement implicitly. What you have done for Cody and what you personally have gone through cannot be appreciated by any of us. You are a saint.
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Hey Cody,
I am just now catching up with your blog after being gone for a couple of weeks. I am SO excited to see you writing the posts! What a great treat for all of us who've been following your progress since day 1. I hope you're doing well and enjoying your time in Cali. I don't have any opinions about surfing or beaches except that I'd rather be there than here in dreary Seattle.
Will you get to head over to CO or Europe to watch any of the races this season? I'll be visiting Pete in Beaver Creek and would love to see you if you're there.
Keep up the great work Cody! You're kicking ass and motivating others to do the same!
Take care,
Carolyn
P.S. Waaaiiit... whaaaat?
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hello Cody and Draven,
thanks to you both for keeping the posts coming . I look forward to hearing about cody's progress and am so happy that he is writing. I am a friend of Barb's from Sugarbush and pray for your improvement daily. Like most of the others I am inspired by your spirit and zest for living your life. Jesse and Draven are there for Cody in California and what else needs to be said. They love him and will help him make safe choices. Cody you are in great hands. May your recovery be speedy.
M.A.
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Hey Cody,
I am just choosing not to read the inappropriate (possibly) responses to your post...especially the hitting your head comment. As you may remember, I'm a TBI survivor and my family, friends and I use that expression a lot. Or we say, "That's just a brain injury waiting to happen!" I think if you are not living it....you don't get it!
I get it!
Cody, you and Draven just keep on keeping on! You're doing EVERYTHING....and I mean EVERYTHING perfectly!
Hugs from Colorado!
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I have been following this blog from the start and have written comments before- my teenage daughter had a severe TBI while ski race training in April, so we are just a few months ahead of Cody the recovery process. What I may not have mentioned is that I am also a trauma physician/surgeon. As I read all of your hospital stories I could only imagine how difficult it was for you (and by "you" I mean Cody, Draven and all the family/friends) to navigate the medical maze.
This point of recovery, at about 4 to 6 months out, is sometimes the most difficult. You feel pretty good, and wonder why you cannot just pick up your life where you left off. Other people often react the same way- after all, you can't see a TBI- at least not from the outside.
The decision about what activities to do is something that is made together with an experienced, well-informed physician. While it is true there are risks to everything, there are also medical guidelines. (Try Googling "Second Impact Syndrome"). Part of the physician-patient relationship involves compliance. Generally a physician expects his/her patient to be compliant with their medical recommendations, which are made based on their professional education, training, experience and judgment. Hopefully there is such a person or team who is providing this for you.
Cody's recovery has been remarkable, as has been the case for my daughter as well. Yet there are those moments of frustration, realization etc. that are as difficult as any purely physical challenge. I fully agree with the "never give up" attitude, and I have seen my daughter return to school, including Honors classes, when only a few months ago she could not think of the names of animals when she looked at models of them. Recovery from a TBI is a long process that involves the molecular and cellular repair, in addition to the cognitive, psychological and emotional aspects. Best of luck in navigating this steep, winding, bumpy, unpredictable path, full of ruts and icy patches.
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Draven,
I am so sorry to hear that you received such grief about going surfing with Cody. I was thrilled to hear that you were planning to get Cody into an environment that will bring life to his spirit (not that he doesn't already have plenty of life). But, athletes need to have a taste of what makes us all so happy. Of course you would do it in the safest way possible! People need to recognize the strides you have helped Cody make with the utmost love and best intentions possible. Most people are not so fortunate to have someone as incredible as you to provide everything you have in such a challenging situation. Keep in mind not everyone understands what makes you and Cody tick and strive for the best on all fronts.
Keep doing what you are doing. I find it phenomenal, extraordinary, inspiring and the list goes on.....!! I hope you continue to receive the support and love both of you deserve. You guys are amazing!
Wendy
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Draven... GOOD FOR YOU for coming back at "Anonymous" and "Reader" too ... I'm not sure which one has their head up their A_ _ the FARTHEST!!! Talk about people who don't have a LIFE!!! WHO would take the time to write on a blog that is for someone OBVIOUSLY NEITHER OF THEM KNOWS OR CARES ABOUT OR HAS ACTUALLY SUPPORTED (FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE)... never mind KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MARSHALL FAMILY, ESPECIALLY CODY!!!! I don't get it ... the blog is meant for people who care about CODY and who are supporting CODY and who KNOW HIM and at least know SOMETHING about his FAMILY ... not for nameless people who want to take out their own unresolved issues ANONYMOUSLY and make stupid comments about someone's family that they know NOTHING about... and make RIDICULOUS assumptions about anyone being "selfish" or "reckless" much less "gambling in Las Vegas" ... WOW!!!! Sounds like the ramblings of an escapee from a psych ward ...
Basically, Cody and Draven ... you are both doing a fabulous job ... and of course will ignore such absurd ramblings... Cody, you haven't come this far from Draven not knowing what he was/is doing ... nor from you not having a very strong will to survive ... etc... so, take these people with a grain of salt... obviously, they're so jealous of you and all the love and support that you have had from AROUND THE WORLD ... they can't stand it ...
Isn't there a way to keep those kind of people off the blog???
Cody and Draven, you are both AMAZING!!! Keep on doing what you're doing... Neither Anonymous nor Reader could walk THREE STEPS in either of your shoes .. never mind survive what you have both survived...
GO CODY GO!!! GO DRAVEN GO!!!
Love,
Mama/Carol
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Well put Draven. Oh so true. Those nay sayers are way of course. Never doubt what you have done. It is exceptional. Wave the mighty finger at those who question.
r
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I can't believe you received negative comments from anyone who has followed your blog from the beginning. You have been Cody's savior all these months, never leaving his side. You would never do anything that wasn't in Cody's best interest.. you are amazing! Cody is so blessed to have you. Keep doing what you're doing.. you are appreciated.
GO CODY GO!!!!
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Damn...I bet you didn't see that coming. What the hell is wrong with people?
You guys are doing a fantastic job! Keep it up--you are going places and stirring it up as you go.
Like a friend said, "Ski racers are little nuts--they have to be in order to bomb down the mountain at 100mph."
kelly
unknown pc friend
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